Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Dishwasher Rules

There is nothing that interrupts domestic bliss quite as much as the dishwasher. Luckily The Boss has come up with some helpful rules which are as follows:

  1. You do not talk about dishwasher rules.
  2. Before loading commences, all items for the dishwasher must be washed up.
  3. When loading, every item that we own has its own special designated place. These places must be memorised. It is not permitted to stack items anywhere other than their special designated place.
  4. Ensure that you also memorise the items that cannot go in the dishwasher. Just because it says dishwasher proof in large bold letters doesn’t mean this is the case.
  5. Never launch the dishwasher without first checking with NATO that all dishwasher permitted items have been collected.
  6. Prior to launch, inform the lady of the house. Move aside so she is able to double check that the loading procedures in rules 2-5 have been met.
  7. Obtain signed written permission, and launch.
  8. When the dishwasher has finished its cycle it will beep. Ignore this. It has not finished.
  9. Wait for a minimum of 30 minutes after beeping before unloading. Under no circumstances unload items early and dry with a tea towel. This will not be tolerated.
  10. Unload the bottom draw first. Failure to comply with this will lead to a huge black hole opening up in the under stairs cupboard sucking us all into oblivion.   
  11. The correct cupboard/place for every item should previously have been memorised. Rogue unloading will not be tolerated.  

Thank you for your compliance on this matter.   

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