Thursday, 4 May 2017

A grumpy fellas top 10 most annoying UK celebrities

Lists of this and that seem to be very popular in the media these days, so I thought I would have a stab. Here is a grumpy fellas list of the top ten most annoying celebrities currently in the UK. Just the sight of them on TV makes my eye twitch and my head vein pump like crazy.

Let me know if you have any to add!

You know when you give your kids too many Smarties? This 50 year old reality TV presenter can never sit still or speak at a normal volume and even her stupid wavy hair shampoo adverts are irritating to the point of pure rage. No, we don’t want to know about your hard upbringing or your problems as a teenager. Just sit still and shut up!

How is it you end up as a judge on a singing talent show when you cannot hold a single note yourself? With an accent that makes you long to hear fingernails down a blackboard and the attitude of a spotty teenager who’s been given an early curfew, very scary spice easily makes the list.

With the vocabulary and mannerisms of a Dickensian on crack, his over the top, in your face comedy is both dull and irritating in equal measures. He appears at eight on the list as I gave him a break for being married to Katy Perry, but he still makes it above Davina and Mel.

Well done for your charity work and for swimming the Channel, but how many times do we have to hear about it? Being a firm favourite on various panel shows gives David the opportunity to rinse and repeat his repertoire of camp jokes and generally mincing about. Can he do anything but camp when he’s on his own? Please stick to writing your books indoors. 

Gotta let it burn. Indeed Ellie! Another female on the list with a particularly irritating voice. She sounds like a singing hamster with nasal congestion, and have you ever seen her interviewed? Wow, you wouldn’t want her and Devina in the same room.

Very popular with some, and the first egomaniac on my top ten. You’re nowhere near as funny as you think you are and to laugh so consistently hard at your own jokes makes me want to shove some barbeque tongs down your throat and pull out your larynx.  

I have to be very careful what I say here. Perhaps I should say nothing and allow you to fill in the blanks.

Christ this guy is irritating. To the point where he and the number two in my list have almost made it impossible to enjoy A League of Their Own without cringing on the sofa. Another guy fond of regurgitating the same old crappy content week in week out. I mean, how many mum jokes are there out there? 

Easily one of the most irritating celebrities in the UK (well L.A actually). His ego has grown so greatly that his head is now almost the same size as his plump body.  No matter the situation, no matter the subject James can always be trusted to turn the attention on himself by either breaking into song or bragging about his career in the US. I reckon that had he been invited to appear on that Rio Ferdinand documentary about being mum and dad, he’d be telling Rio to move out of shot because he needed a cry too. What a knob.

Is there a slimier human being in existence? The mere mention of his name induces the vomiting reflux. From his wandering hands on breakfast TV to his pathetic Twitter rants, this guy is absolute garbage. What more could you expect from the ex-Editor of The Daily Mirror.   

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